How to Stay Healthy During a Protracted Lawsuit Involving Your Childhood Sexual Abuse

How to Stay Healthy During a Long Legal Fight Against a Corporate Entity Who Protected the Pedophile Who Abused You as a Child.By MICHELE BETTI  | b&f opinions April 13, 2009

While New York State Lawmakers are considering assembly bills that may provide you an opportunity to pursue claims for childhood sexual abuse against the pedophile and entity who employed him/her, you may be asking yourself: a) how long will a lawsuit of this nature take? b) is it worth it? c) can I make it through such a thing?

There are no easy answers to these tough questions.  Cases of this nature, often take a toll on survivors of childhood sexual abuse.  We have seen survivors consider dismissing their claims, fall deep into despair and destructive tendencies, and even abandon their cases altogether.  Five things we have learned throughout the years generally help a client make it through a long- and hard-fought litigation:

1. Understand the timing. Talk to your attorney in depth about your case.  Understand that cases of this nature could take several years to resolve (especially where several victims pursue lawsuits at once).
2. Know the steps of a lawsuit: initially, you will interview with your attorney; if you decide to proceed forward, your lawsuit will be filed in court; next your attorney will conduct “discovery,” obtaining facts and documents that help prove your case; meanwhile the defendants will conduct their own discovery to disprove the allegations in your lawsuit, which could include depositions of you and your family members; the defendants will often attack the merits of your case by filing motions with the court (typically these motions are called “demurrers,” “summary judgment,” or “summary adjudication”); your case may next proceed to settlement either through mutual agreement, arbitration or mediation; or it may proceed to trial.  All of this could take several years.
3. Understand the attorney-client privilege and doctor-patient privilege. Under the attorney-client privilege, conversations between you and your attorney are protected.  Therefore, you often may be advised by your attorney not to discuss the strategy of your lawsuit with anybody.  Defendants in these types of lawsuit often depose everyone in the tight circle of friends and family around you to learn what you have discussed with them.  Be careful.  Also, understand the doctor-patient privilege.  Understand that once you file a lawsuit, seeking damages for the abuse you suffered, your medical records will be “discoverable” to the defendants.  Thus, anything you tell — or have told — your doctors may become known to the defendants.  In our experience, this has not posed a large problem, but you need to be aware of it.
4. Easier said than done:  don’t stake your day-to-day happiness on your claims. Those survivors who regularly check-in with their attorneys to stay informed, but continue on with their daily habits, and work and family-life, fair better in the long-run.  Those survivors who fall into the dangerous trap of micro-managing every aspect of their case (and therefore ignore their family and friends, career, and therapy) fair the worst.  Again, this is easier said than done, but do not let your case define you as a person.  Allow it to be one aspect of your life, not the main driving aspect.  Maintain friendships, work relationships, and treat your case as an important priority in your life — not your most important priority.  Even justice cannot replace the love of your family and friends.
5. Maintain a healthy diet and regular exercise. Fresh air and healthy nutrition go along way in reducing stress.

We hope this short list of ideas helps.  As always, please do not hesitate to contact

with questions about your case.

The Law Offices of
Betti And Associates
110 Wall St., 11th Floor, NY, NY 10005
646-895-0939 or 949-702-1289

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